How to make money online and quit your 9to5 job

Hmm , looks ironic when the whole world is facing recession and everybody want to make money online why anybody want to loose everything online . But I want to give the warning all the methods mentioned here will work and you will literally loose everything online , so don’t take them seriously and have fun with life .And I am not responsible for anything you do with this . I want to tell you again take it as a joke and don’t make joke of yourself . Ok now lets talk about the methods through which you can reach your ultimate goal “To loose everything online “(this doesn’t include your girlfriend/boyfriend ,husband/wife etc . In today’s world where love is in the air in excess ,you will automatically loose them without any effort , so we will concentrate on loosing non-living things. Ready to get ripped off!!!!!!!!!!

SUPER TIP: If you just reverse the methods (don’t reverse every method use your own common sense) you may learn a lot.

• The first thing you should do , starts from your credit card .Try to get your hand on credit card which has very high interest rate and other hidden fees . Please check that there are enough hidden fees . Just make sure they will completely rip you off.
Just think about those million happy people around the world who are in debt because of this little card . Now you have to make sure that you also become one of them. You should target about 30% ,that means you have to make sure that you will loose at least 30% of your finances.

Offline Super Tip: Although I want to include only online method but I want to include my favorite offline method .For this you have to look for Gold diggers (Definition: They are creatures male/female found on planet earth who look for only bank balance of their partners ,most of them are very handsome man or beautiful and sexy women .Now a days they are found in plenty) . Just become their boyfriend or girlfriend .Rest will happen automatically . You will loose about 60% of you finance because they are programmed to leave their partner after that .

• Ok this one include paypal .Hope you have heard about this service ,they are like “online bank” .Your money transactions will be through email .For example you can send somebody 100$ online though email.
Ok now about the method .I call it “super wise method” (you will understand soon why such fancy name ) . For this you have to become most wise person in world . What you have to do is declare online that you are giving away money free (you can use various advertising methods for ths) . Also another best way is to hold a contest asking questions like “ Who is Paris Hilton ?”(I know this one is tough question but you can ask simple questions ) and give them 1000$ as prize no matter what they answer . You can collect their email addresses for this ( But don’t spam) .

• Now our third method includes most famous service EBAY . You can easily find things which cost 1000$ dollars but are worth 10$ .You want to grab them before anybody else grab them ( always keep in mind you are there to loose everything.)

• Now another method which I want I want to tell also includes ebay . One thing we forget to loose is house and furniture ,what’s the better place to loose them than ebay . Sell your house and furniture for about 100$ (you can’t give them for free as people may think it’s a scam ,you don’t want to loose customers who will help you to rip off.)

• I know what you guys are thinking “hey you forget to tell the most famous method to loose everything “THE BIG G” “Gambling” .Ok first of all I know online gambling is best way to loose everything But in many countries it is illegal and we don’t want to do anything illegal . So check your country laws before trying this method.

• I have already told you about the gold digger method .But the good news is that, there are online gold diggers too . So, just find them and let them rip you completely.

• Another method to loose money online is to buy digital products(ebooks video training etc) . There are lot of rubbish digital products online . So find them and buy them .Don’t worry about hard disk space even if you have 40gb hard drive what you have to do is just delete them after you have buy them and forget everything about it .

• Now here’s a little technical method , for this you will use adsense and other ppc (paid per click ) advertising . First you have to build a website ,don’t worry just hire the most expensive webmaster and let him do his work . Now use adsense and bid for highest amount i.e the amount you will pay if user click on your ad . Believe me this is very effective method . If you are not much technical them hire someone and promise them to give your house in return.

• Do you know you can even bid your job on ebay .This method strikes me after I heard about a Australian who has put his house ,bike ,friends ,job on ebay. But you should consult your lawyer and your boss before trying it .

• And by the way you can also loose a lot of money just emailing your friends (remember paypal) .Use paypal to email your friends your money for no reason.

I hope if you use the methods seriously then you will rip you completely in no time .

And at end “ don’t take it seriously” (sorry for repeating this again and again ,but there are people in this world who may take it seriously)